I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
