is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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