Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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