Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
