And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You've changed since you got that strap on
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
