We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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