Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
