wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
