yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize