I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize