I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
