i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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