I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
