He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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