She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
