Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize