is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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