Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
