For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
