Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
