yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
