i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
