It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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