i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
