Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
