i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
