I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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