Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
