Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
organizing the empties. That sober.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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