Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
