my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
