I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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