Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize