What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
