Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Boobs are out for the taking
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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