This house was built for laser tag.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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