a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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