He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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