Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
