vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize