I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize