Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
only if we run a train.
done.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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