dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
