im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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