Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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