I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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