Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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