Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's blow job season.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
