Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sorry about my life...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
