Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize