margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
did i just pee glitter
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
