i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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