i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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