Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
