WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
