Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
