Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
