He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize