Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
