In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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