I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
