For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Randomize
