if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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