I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
