Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
