Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
