So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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