Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize