but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
