I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
