My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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